Runt's Rant Page

BARAMA
Revised: Thursday, November 03, 2011 at 05:11 PM
"The Weather Channel says yesterday's east coast earthquake was caused by an unknown fault line running under D.C. and through Virginia. It is now being called Obama's Fault, though Obama will say it's really Bush's Fault. Other theories are that was the founding fathers rolling over in their graves or that what we all believed to be an earthquake was actually the effects of a 14.6 trillion dollar check bouncing in Washington."

BARAMA or NOBAMA!!

With all due respect

Mr. President, we’re still waiting.

“We will go through our federal budget–

Page by page, line by line–eliminating

Those programs we don’t need.”

It’s been nearly two years since you made that pledge, Mr. President. Since then, you’ve signed into law an $800 billion

“stimulus” package and a massive new health care entitlement—adding trillions of dollars in unfunded liabilities to our

grandchildren’s tab.

Our looming debt crisis threatens to destroy the American dream for future generations. Yet your administration continues

piling up deficits of over a trillion dollars a year. By 2012 our national debt will be larger than the entire U.S. economy. Isn’t it past

time you identified the programs you’d cut?

In all fairness, both parties got us into this mess. “Deficits don’t matter,” Vice President Dick Cheney scoffed as the Bush administration

and a Republican Congress led one of the biggest spending sprees in American history, nearly doubling federal outlays over

eight years. Our bipartisan flight from responsibility is a national disgrace—and it’s fast becoming a national disaster. Vague promises

to eliminate “waste, fraud, and abuse” won’t cut it anymore. Both parties need to step up with specific and substantial cuts.

As a start, they can consult downsizinggovernment.org, where the Cato Institute has begun posting the results of our page

by page, line by line review of the federal budget. With the Constitution as our guide, we’ve identified scores of agencies to eliminate

and programs to zero out, putting America on the path toward fiscal sanity:

— President-elect Barack Obama, November 2 0 8

Education Subsidies

Education is a state, local, and private matter—and that's where

the Constitution left it. Federal K-12 education programs have cost

American taxpayers $1.85 trillion since 1965 without noticeably improving

outcomes. Eliminating them will save $40 billion annually.

Farm Subsidies

Far from “saving the family farm,” federal agricultural subsidies

are environmentally destructive corporate welfare, with more than 70

percent of aid going to the largest 10 percent of agribusinesses. Zeroing

out farm welfare will save $25 billion annually.

Military Overreach

The Constitution envisions a U.S. military that “provide[s] for the

common defense” of the United States, not one that serves as the

world's policeman and nation-builder. By withdrawing our troops

from Iraq and Afghanistan, we could save at least $125 billion next

year. Eliminating other unnecessary overseas missions would allow

for a leaner force structure and defense budget, saving at least $100

billion a year without undermining U.S. security.

Transportation Programs

The federal government has no business funding the state and local projects

that make up the bulk of federal transportation spending. Federal involvement

results in pork-barrel spending, excess bureaucracy, and costly

one-size-fits-all regulations. Moving funding for activities such as highways

to the states and air traffic control to the private sector would spur

greater innovation while also saving $85 billion a year.

Housing Subsidies

Federal interference in housing markets has done enormous

damage to our cities and the economy at large. HUD subsidies

have concentrated poverty and fed urban blight, while Fannie Mae

and Freddie Mac stoked the financial crisis by putting millions of

people into homes they couldn’t afford. Getting the government

out of the housing business will save $45 billion annually.

Federal Worker Pay

Federal workers enjoy far greater job security than their private sector

counterparts—and far better total compensation: an average

of $120,000 a year in wages and benefits. Cut federal compensation

by 10 percent to save $20 billion annually.

Energy Subsidies

The 30-year legacy of federal energy subsidies is replete with corporate

cronyism and failed “investments.” Entrepreneurs with their own capital

have incentives to develop viable alternative energy sources. Ending

federal energy subsidies would save $20 billion a year.

Government-run Health Care

Medicare and Medicaid are driving the explosion in federal debt. The

2010 health care law should be repealed, but the same level of Medicare

cost savings can be realized by moving to a consumer-driven health plan

through vouchers, which would protect the elderly from government rationing.

Medicaid should be converted to a fixed block grant to save

money and encourage state innovation. Total savings would be more

than $1 trillion over the next decade.

Drug War

Since the start of the federal War on Drugs in 1970, we’ve spent hundreds

of billions on a futile crusade that’s done little to curb drug use

and much to impair our civil liberties. In fact, a Cato study showed that

Portugal’s decriminalization of drugs actually lowered drug-related

problems. Returning drug policy to the states—where it belongs—

would save at least $15 billion annually.

Social Security

As the Baby Boom generation retires, our largest entitlement program

lurches toward crisis. Social Security should be phased out as a mandatory

program and an alternative voluntary system of private accounts,

providing for ownership and inheritability, should be offered. Current

obligations can be reduced by tying annual benefit growth to price inflation

rather than wage growth, saving $50 billion annually by 2020.

Visit DownsizingGovernment.org

for a free download of the

Cato Institute’s acclaimed book

The Struggle to Limit Government.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.

We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

--- Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?

A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

--- Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?

A: A fund raiser.

--- Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?

A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.

The other is for housing prisoners.

--- David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean

and it started to sink, who would be saved?

A: America !

--- Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?

A: Bo has papers.

--- Jimmy Kim mel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?

A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.

--- David Letterman

We all remember the "Hillary Meal" - small breasts and big thighs.

Now, KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners.

It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket. It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes.

Health Care Reform

If Obama wants to really reform health care, he should get the lawyers out of the Medical Profession. The average Doctor spends $100,000 a year on malpractice insurance, to protect themselves from bottom feeding, ambulance chasers that have never contributed anything to society. This cost is passed on to us. Our Doctors are the brightest and best trained in the world. Why is it that we think that they should never have a bad day or ever make a mistake? When they screw up, I want them reeducated or thrown out of the Medical Profession. What I don’t want is some lawyer getting rich off someone else’s misery, while allowing a bad Doctor to continue practicing medicine.

Any individual that is aiding in the health care of another, that is professionally licensed, should be protected under the new

Obama Health Care Reform Act

This Act will protect them from litigation of any sort. A Review Board will be established so the medical community can police themselves. They don't want bad Doctors anymore than we do. They will establish a system of reimbursement for individuals that were injured due to negligence. This will be funded by the medical community. The amount contributed by each entity will depend on the claims of the previous year. Doctors might stand bad Doctors but they sure as hell won't pay for one. Anyone that costs them money will be looking into a new line of work.

This will also let the medical community control some of their costs such as medications. World trade will bring the pharmaceutical companies into line. We've out-sourced everything else.

Life is dangerous. Remember, when it bit you on the ass, you went running to them. In case you haven't noticed, your Doctor is spending more time covering his ass, than he is yours. Give them what they need to do their job correctly and efficiently. We are all responsible for the state this country is in. It's time we did something right.

Not a mention of getting lawyers out of Medicine in this new bill.

The Runt

This cartoon originated nearly 3 months ago in Scotland . It looks like most of the world is laughing at our nation's leadership.

What passport did Obama use when he was shuttling between New York , Jakarta , and Karachi ?

So how did a young man who arrived in New York in early June 1981, without the price of a hotel room in his pocket, suddenly come up with the price of a round-the-world trip just a month later?

And once he was on a plane, shuttling between New York , Jakarta , and Karachi , what passport was he offering when he passed through Customs and Immigration?

The American people not only deserve to have answers to these questions, they must have answers. It makes the debate over Obama's citizenship a rather short and simple one.

Q: Did he travel to Pakistan in 1981, at age 20?

A : Yes, by his own admission...

Q: What passport did he travel under?

A: There are only three possibilities

1) He traveled with a U.S. Passport,

2) He traveled with a British passport, or

3) He traveled with an Indonesia passport.

Q: Is it possible that Obama traveled with a U.S. Passport in 1981?

A: No. It is not possible. Pakistan was on the U.S. State Department's "no travel" list in 1981.

Conclusion:

When Obama went to Pakistan in 1981 he was traveling either with a British passport or an Indonesian passport..

If he were traveling with a British passport that would provide proof he was born in Kenya on August 4, 1961, not in Hawaii as he claims.

And if he were traveling with an Indonesian passport that would tend to prove he relinquished whatever previous citizenship he held, British or American, prior to being adopted by his Indonesian step-father in 1967.

Whatever the truth of the matter, the American people need to know how he managed to become a "natural born" American citizen between 1981 and 2008..

Given the destructive nature of his plans for America, as illustrated by his speech before Congress and the disastrous spending plan he has presented to Congress, the sooner we learn the truth of all this, the better.

As President George W. Bush's top speechwriter, Marc Thiessen was provided unique access to the CIA program used in interrogating top Al Qaeda terrorists, including the mastermind of the 9/11 attack, Khalid Sheikh Mohammad (KSM).

Now, in his riveting new book, Courting Disaster, How the CIA Kept America Safe and How Barack Obama Is Inviting the Next Attack.

(Regnery),

Here is an excerpt from Courting Disaster:

Just before dawn on March 1, 2003, two dozen heavily armed Pakistani tactical assault forces move in and surround a safe house in Rawalpindi. A few hours earlier they had received a text message from an informant inside the house. It read: "I am with KSM."

Bursting in, they find the disheveled mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, in his bedroom. He is taken into custody. In the safe house, they find a treasure trove of computers, documents, cell phones and other valuable "pocket litter."

Once in custody, KSM is defiant. He refuses to answer questions, informing his captors that he will tell them everything when he gets to America and sees his lawyer. But KSM is not taken to America to see a lawyer. Instead he is taken to a secret CIA "black site" in an undisclosed location.

Upon arrival, KSM finds himself in the complete control of Americans. He does not know where he is, how long he will be there, or what his fate will be.

Despite his circumstances, KSM still refuses to talk. He spews contempt at his interrogators, telling them that Americans are weak, lack resilience, and are unable to do what is necessary to prevent the terrorists from succeeding in their goals. He has trained to resist interrogation. When he is asked for information about future attacks, he tells his questioners scornfully: "Soon, you will know."

It becomes clear he will not reveal the information using traditional interrogation techniques. So he undergoes a series of "enhanced interrogation techniques" approved for use only on the most high-value detainees. The techniques include waterboarding.

His resistance is described by one senior American official as "superhuman." Eventually, however, the techniques work, and KSM becomes cooperative-for reasons that will be described later in this book.

He begins telling his CIA de-briefers about active al Qaeda plots to launch attacks against the United States and other Western targets. He holds classes for CIA officials, using a chalkboard to draw a picture of al Qaeda's operating structure, financing, communications, and logistics. He identifies al Qaeda travel routes and safe havens, and helps intelligence officers make sense of documents and computer records seized in terrorist raids. He identifies voices in intercepted telephone calls, and helps officials understand the meaning of coded terrorist communications. He provides information that helps our intelligence community capture other high-ranking terrorists,

KSM's questioning, and that of other captured terrorists, produces more than 6,000 intelligence reports, which are shared across the intelligence community, as well as with our allies across the world.

In one of these reports, KSM describes in detail the revisions he made to his failed 1994-1995 plan known as the "Bojinka plot" to blow up a dozen airplanes carrying some 4,000 passengers over the Pacific Ocean.

Years later, an observant CIA officer notices that the activities of a cell being followed by British authorities appear to match KSM's description of his plans for a Bojinka-style attack.

In an operation that involves unprecedented intelligence cooperation between our countries, British officials proceed to unravel the plot. On the night of Aug.9, 2006 they launch a series of raids in a northeast London suburb that lead to the arrest of two dozen al Qaeda terrorist suspects. They find a USB thumb-drive in the pocket of one of the men with security details for Heathrow airport, and information on seven trans-Atlantic flights that were scheduled to take off within hours of each other:

* United Airlines Flight 931 to San Francisco departing at 2:15 p.m.;

* Air Canada Flight 849 to Toronto departing at 3:00 p.m.;

* Air Canada Flight 865 to Montreal departing at 3:15 p.m.;

* United Airlines Flight 959 to Chicago departing at 3:40 p.m.;

* United Airlines Flight 925 to Washington departing at 4:20 p.m.;

* American Airlines Flight 131 to New York departing at 4:35 p.m;

* American Airlines Flight 91 to Chicago departing at 4:50 p.m.

They seize bomb-making equipment and hydrogen peroxide to make liquid explosives. And they find the chilling martyrdom videos the suicide bombers had prepared.

Today, if you asked an average person on the street what they know about the 2006 airlines plot, most would not be able to tell you much. Few Americans are aware of the fact that al Qaeda had planned to mark the fifth anniversary of 9/11 with an attack of similar scope and magnitude.

And still fewer realize that the terrorists' true intentions in this plot were uncovered thanks to critical information obtained through the interrogation of the man who conceived it: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

This is only one of the many attacks stopped with the help of the CIA interrogation program established by the Bush Administration in the wake of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Editor's Note: For other foiled terrorist plots, see page 9 of Courting Disaster.

In addition to helping break up these specific terrorist cells and plots, CIA questioning provided our intelligence community with an unparalleled body of information about al Qaeda

Until the program was temporarily suspended in 2006, intelligence officials say, well over half of the information our government had about al Qaeda-how it operates, how it moves money, how it communicates, how it recruits operatives, how it picks targets, how it plans and carries out

attacks-came from the interrogation of terrorists in CIA custody.

Former CIA Director George Tenet has declared: "I know that this program has saved lives. I know we've disrupted plots. I know this program alone is worth more than what the FBI, the Central Intelligence Agency, and the National Security Agency put together have been able to tell us."

Former CIA Director Mike Hayden has said: "The facts of the case are that the use of these techniques against these terrorists made us safer. It really did work."

Even Barack Obama's Director of National Intelligence, Dennis Blair, has acknowledged: "High-value information came from interrogations in which those methods were used and provided a deeper understanding of the al Qaeda organization that was attacking this country."

Leon Panetta, Obama's CIA Director, has said: "Important information was gathered from these detainees. It provided information that was acted upon."

And John Brennan, Obama's Homeland Security Advisor, when asked in an interview if enhanced-interrogation techniques were necessary to keep America safe, replied :"Would the U.S. be handicapped if the CIA was not, in fact, able to carry out these types of detention and debriefing activities? I would say yes."

On Jan. 22, 2009, President Obama issued Executive Order 13491, closing the CIA program and directing that, henceforth, all interrogations by U.S personnel must follow the techniques contained in the Army Field Manual.

The morning of the announcement, Mike Hayden was still in his post as CIA Director, He called White House Counsel Greg Craig and told him bluntly: "You didn't ask, but this is the CIA officially nonconcurring." The president went ahead anyway, overruling the objections of the agency.

A few months later, on April 16, 2009, President Obama ordered the release of four Justice Department memos that described in detail the techniques used to interrogate KSM and other high-value terrorists. This time, not just Hayden (who was now retired) but five CIA directors -- including Obama's own director, Leon Panetta -- objected. George Tenet called to urge against the memos' release. So did Porter Goss. So did John Deutch. Hayden says: "You had CIA directors in a continuous unbroken stream to 1995 calling saying, 'Don't do this.'"

In addition to objections from the men who led the agency for a collective 14 years, the President also heard objections from the agency's covert field operatives. A few weeks earlier, Panetta had arranged for the eight top officials of the Clandestine Service to meet with the President. It was highly unusual for these clandestine officers to visit the Oval Office, and they used the opportunity to warn the President that releasing the memos would put agency operatives at risk. The President reportedly listened respectfully-and then ignored their advice.

With these actions, Barack Obama arguably did more damage to America's national security in his first 100 days of office than any President in American history.

Nobel Peace Prize?

Jay Leno: "Congratulations to President Barack Obama. Won the Nobel Peace Prize. Very exciting. ... Hang on now. Don't get too excited. He hasn't actually collected it yet. Let's see if he can follow through on this. ... He went to Europe for the Olympic thing. That was a sure thing, too. So, let's just wait a minute."

Jay Leno: "Actually, when Vice President Joe Biden heard that President Obama won the Nobel Prize, he was speechless. So, it's already doing some good."

Conan O'Brien: "Earlier today, the Nobel Prize for economics was awarded to a woman for the first time ever. ... So, congratulations, Michelle Obama."

David Letterman: "When I call your name, please come up and claim your Nobel Peace Prize, all right?"

Jimmy Fallon: "Yesterday morning, Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church, though some are questioning whether Obama really deserved it."

Stephen Colbert: "Obama was nominated on February first, when he had been President for only '11 days.' That's like giving an employee a gold watch for completing his W-2."

BREAKING NEWS:

This just in !!!

Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching a college football game !!!

and

Lindsey Vonn was stripped of her Gold Metal as it was determined that President Barack Obama was actually going downhill faster than her!

So let me get this straight…
This health care plan will be written by a committee whose head says he
doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it and whose
members will be exempt from it, signed by a president who smokes, funded by
a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general
who is obese, and financed by a country that is dead broke.
…what could possibly go wrong?
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
I Got Mine 
Just wanted to let you know I received my stimulus package yesterday...
It contained watermelon seeds, cornbread mix and ten coupons to KFC.
Directions were in Spanish

It has just been reported that the head gardener at The White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to the many US presidents.

When interviewed the elderly, Caucasian gardener protested his innocence and said

All I know is I was walking past the Oval Office and I yelled out to my
assistants, "Has anyone seen the spade and the hoe." 

The next thing I knew I was fired.
Youtube Video. 16 Tons.

This is good no matter what side your on.

  You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.

......Abraham Lincoln 


   Obama's First Six Months' Accomplishments

     1.  Offended the Queen of England .
     2.  Bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia .
     3.  Praised the Marxist Daniel Ortega.
     4.  Kissed Socialist Hugo Chavez on the cheek.
     5.  Endorsed the Socialist Evo Morales of Bolivia .
     6.  Sided with Hugo Chavez and Communist Fidel Castro against Honduras
.
     7.  Announced we would meet with Iranians with no pre-conditions
while they're building their nuclear weapons.
     8.  Gave away billions to AIG also without pre-conditions.
     9.  Expanded the bailouts.
   10.  Insulted everyone who has ever loved a Special Olympian.
   11.  Doubled our national debt.
   12.  Announced the termination of our new missile defense system
the day after North Korea launched an ICBM.
   13.  Released information on U.S. intelligence gathering despite
urgings of his own CIA director and the prior four
 CIA directors.
   14.  Accepted without comment that five of his cabinet members
cheated on their taxes and two other nominees withdrew
 after they couldn't take the heat.
   15. Appointed a Homeland Security Chief who identified military
veterans and abortion opponents as "dangers to the nation."
   16.  Ordered that the word "terrorism" no longer be used and
instead refers to such acts as "man made disasters."
   17.  Circled the globe to publicly apologize for America 's world
leadership.
   18.  Told the Mexican president that the violence in their country
was because of us.
   19.  Politicized the census by moving it into the White House from
the Department of Commerce.
   20.  Appointed as Attorney General the man who orchestrated the
forced removal and expulsion to Cuba of a 9-year-old whose mother died
trying to bring him to freedom in the United States .
   21.  Salutes as heroes three Navy SEALS who took down three
terrorists who threatened one American life and the next day announces
members of the Bush administration may stand trial for "torturing"
three 9/11 terrorists by pouring water up their noses.
   22.  Low altitude photo shoot of Air Force One over New York City
that frightened thousands of New Yorkers.
   23.  Sent his National Defense Advisor to Europe to assure them
that the US will no longer treat Israel in a special manner and they
might be on their own with the Muslims.
   24.  Praised Jimmy Carter's trip to Gaza where he sided with
terrorist Hamas against Israel .
   25.  Nationalized General Motors and Chrysler while turning
shareholder control over to the unions and freezing out retired
investors who owned their bonds.  Committed unlimited taxpayer
billions in the process.
   26.  Passed a huge energy tax in the House that will make American
industry even less competitive while costing homeowners thousands per
year.
   27.  Announced nationalized health care "reform" that will strip
seniors of their Medicare, cut pay of physicians, increase taxes yet
another $1 trillion, and put everyone on rationed care with government
bureaucrats deciding who gets care and who doesn't.



    Bloomberg:  Daschle says, "Health care reform will not be pain
free.  Seniors should be more accepting of the conditions that come
with age instead of treating them," while former Colorado Governor
Dick Lamm says seniors have "a duty to die."

   If this does not sufficiently raise your ire, just remember that
the President, Senators and Congressmen have their own special gold
plated health care plan which is guaranteed the remainder of their
lives and they are not subject to this new law if they pass it.

   Please use the power of the Internet to get this message out. Talk
it up at the grassroots level.  We have an election coming up in one
year and four months where we can reverse the dangerous direction of
the Obama administration and its allies.  In the interim, we can make
their lives miserable.  Lets do it!
....and now, a message from our President: 
  
Dear Citizens, 
 
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, I, President Obama have decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement. 
  
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). 
 
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). 
 
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). 
 
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate. 
  
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). 
  
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me, President Obama. 
  
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama have always prided myself on the amount of SHIT I give our citizens. 
  
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. 
  
Sincerely, 
  
President Obama 
  
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. 
An E-mail from a friend that is cut from the same cloth.

Saving Obama

I'm a hard core, flag waving, patriotic conservative and I would leap in front of a bullet to SAVE Obama from it.  Why?  Because Americans need to finally find out what "liberalism" is all about and what those on the left want for America.  Far from meaning "free thinking” and “tolerant", the MODERN definition of liberalism is; government control over an individual from cradle to grave, elimination of religion or any system of moral values,  perpetual racism via affirmative action, turning America over to some international "new world order", reducing school curriculums to one subject, i.e. political correctness, eliminating free speech (some college campuses already have tiny, designated free speech zones), easing liberal guilt by importing as many third-world illegal immigrants as it takes so that America is no longer a first-world country, for the few people that still work to turn their wages over to the government for the "betterment of all"--namely the ones that don't want to work, the elimination of gasoline powered vehicles, the discouragement of such undesirable traits as patriotism, self-reliance and rugged individualism, a ban on all guns, and the scrapping of our Constitution.

E-mail from Mike R.

The Barama Deception
The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.

People are spitting on the wrong side

A friend of mine has 4 extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel) event at the Ford Center, this weekend in Beaumont , Texas .  If anybody wants them.  He's going to try to jump 1,000 Obama supporters with a bulldozer.

Should be a good time.

Let me know
Barama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet.  Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in  total silence. 
                                                                                          
Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'                                              
                                                                                          
Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ''Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!'  
 
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of 
St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.. 

He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' 

St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. 
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. 

Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.' 

'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' 

'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating 
that she never told a lie.' 

'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' 
St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's President OBamas clock?' asked the man. 
Obamas clock is in Jesus' office. 
He's using it as a ceiling fan.
Barama Democrat

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,


"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and
100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

 
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Barama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault." 
Has anyone seen this cartoon from the 1934 Chicago Tribune?

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

This saying has never been more fitting, than at this time in my life. My Grandfather told me about the Great Depression and that I should always be prepared for it. He said that government was more likely to cause it than to prevent it. He told my father about it too, but it never affected him. Pass this on to your grandchildren, so they will know.

The Runt

        President  Barama said in Turkey : "We do not  consider ourselves a Christian nation or a  Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider  ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by  ideals and a set of values."  

Do  you know the Preamble for your state? . .

Alabama  1901, Preamble

We  the people of the State of Alabama , invoking  the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do  ordain and establish the following  Constitution..
Alaska  1956, Preamble We,  the people of Alaska , grateful to God and to  those who founded our nation and pioneered this  great land.
Arizona  1911, Preamble We,  the people of the State of Arizona , grateful to  Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this  Constitution...
Arkansas  1874, Preamble We,  the people of the State of Arkansas , grateful  to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing  our own form of government...
California  1879, Preamble We,  the People of the State of California , grateful  to Almighty God for our freedom...

*****

Vermont  1777, Preamble Whereas  all government ought to enable the individuals  who compose it to enjoy their natural rights,  and other blessings which the Author of  Existence has bestowed on man ..
Virginia  1776, Bill of Rights, XVI Religion,  or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be  directed only by Reason and that it is the  mutual duty of all to practice Christian  Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each  other
Washington  1889, Preamble We  the People of the State of Washington, grateful  to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our  liberties, do ordain this Constitution
West  Virginia 1872, Preamble Since  through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings  of civil, political and religious liberty, we,  the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith  in and constant reliance upon God ...
Wisconsin  1848, Preamble We,  the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty  God for our freedom, domestic  tranquility...
Wyoming  1890, Preamble We,  the people of the State of Wyoming , grateful to  God for our civil, political, and religious  liberties, establish this  Constitution...

This was a Nation grateful to God, one hundred years ago when Arizona became a State. It has been most of my life.

Is this the change he was talking about?

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, "Barocky Road".

Barocky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes.

The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and is usually denied as an ingredient.

The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop.

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the Ice Cream is taken away as you reach for it,  and is given to the person in line behind you.

Thus you are left with an empty Wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any Ice Cream. 

But - somehow - you feel stimulated!

E-mail Back to Main